Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with
your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like
their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a
completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO
anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.
People in
love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It
implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then
something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and
spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being
together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY
relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother
(if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens),
and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will
notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in
love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this
point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right
person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had,
you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when
relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for
fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a
hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer
to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within
it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone
else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the
same situation a few years later.
Because:
The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to
work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And
most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make
it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery.
There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner),
Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there
are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws,
the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up
to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you
refuse to let GO..
No comments:
Post a Comment